Don’t worry, I’m not going to bombard you with ideal client avatar exercises, hell to the no. I’m not a fan and I actually believe there are just 4 things that you really, truly need to NAIL in order to steal the heart of your ideal clients every single time. Yep – just 4!

So without further ado, let’s jump right in and explore these bad boys. This is what you need to know, to attract your ideal client every time:

1.Their Pains

2.Their Fears

3.What’s Holding Them Back

4.Their Goals

These are the 3 key facts you need to know like the back of your hand and we’re going to dive in deeper and explore each and every one. You ready?



What pains your ideal client?

This is where you explore the pain points that your ideal client has with regards to what niche you’re in, what solutions you offer and how you help people.

It’s always easier to do this using an example, so I’m going to go ahead and use the weight loss one as it’s easy to show exactly what the process is and how this strategy looks like.

Say you’re a nutritionist and your ideal client is someone who has battled with yo-yo dieting all their life. They have lost weight and gained weight throughout their lives and can never get to and stay at their goal weight. If you had to establish what pains your ideal client, this is what you would likely list:

  • They feel exhausted by the constant ups and downs of their weight loss / gain
  • They feel like a failure as they can never maintain their goal weight
  • They are lost and confused about why they can’t seem to lose the weight and keep it off
  • They’re likely an emotional eater and have a difficult relationship with food
  • They feel conscious about their body and have a difficult relationship with it
  • They envy people who are able to maintain an ideal body weight and feel like they’re “less than”
  • They’re desperate to find a way to finally lose the weight and keep it off without depriving themselves
  • They feel like all hope is lost for them and it’s either lettuce and chicken or staying overweight
  • They feel “fat”, “ugly”, “less than” and their confidence is at an all time low
  • They keep comparing themselves to others and can’t shake the feeling something is wrong with them
  • They comfort their woes with unhealthy, processed foods
  • They can’t or don’t want to wear the clothes they want, don’t feel attractive and lovable
  • They can’t or don’t want to go out and do the things they want to do because their weight gets in the way

What I’ve just described here is the ideal clients’ NEGATIVE REALITY that they’re living in right now, due to all the pain points they are experiencing with regards to weight loss in this case .

Once you are aware of the negative reality your client is living in, you can better understand them and understand what they NEED from you. It’s the first step to really getting clear on who you’re working with, who your audience is and what their needs, pain points and expectations are. You need to get clear on what they’re feeling + why, where they are in life both physically and emotionally, to truly understand them.

Making a list of pain points that your ideal client is dealing with will help you really understand who you are or will be working with.

Speaking to these pain points will allow you to attract the right people into your business = help the right people.

Attracting the right people + understanding exactly where they are + why = setting a solid foundation for helping the right people with the issues that you are an expert at solving.

From a marketing perspective, assuring your ideal client that “you know what it’s like” because A: you understand what they’re going through and B: you have been down that road, is going to build that feeling of trust and connection.

Of course keep in mind that if you have not been through the pain points that they are experiencing, communicating that you have is something you should not attempt.

Most online business owners and bloggers focus on solving problems they have actually experienced themselves and thus they do understand what their audience is going through. Remember – never claim you “get” them if you don’t. It’s fraud and it will surface.

Be honest and be empathetic towards their needs and pains. Share your story if you have been through what they are going through now.

Always remember – establish a clear and precise list of what pains your ideal clients, as the first step to building a relationship and ultimately – helping them with your services and offerings. 

What is your ideal client afraid of?

The second most important factor you need to be aware of is what your ideal client is afraid of – but it’s not what you think. It’s not generally what they’re afraid of,

You need to understand this: your client has an anticipated, negative reality. A reality that they imagine will come true, if they do not address their current pain points. A reality that will haunt them if they don’t change their current situation. This evokes the feelings of anxiety and fear around their pain points.

Let’s continue with the weight loss example. What does the client who is desperately wanting to lose weight and keep it off, afraid of that will happen, if they don’t address their current situation?

  • Physical health problems: heart disease, stroke, liver damage
  • Mental health problems : anxiety and depression
  • Constant low self esteem and self worth
  • Constant feelings of shame and isolation
  • Not being able to actively spend time with their kids or grand kids
  • Not being to conceive a child due to weight issues
  • Not being able to socialize as much as they’d like
  • No acceptance for their body or self image
  • Being held back from doing what they want in life
  • Negatively affected relationship with spouse or partner
  • Negatively affected sex life

In this case, the ideal client is anticipating that IF they do not change their current situation ie being overweight or obese, they will have to face a reality filled with the above – which are neither pleasant nor desirable outcomes for anyone’s future.

Every single one of us has some sort of problems and issues in life. We all have pain points. The key motivation that lingers inside of each of our heads is directly correlated with the negative, anticipated reality that we see IF we don’t change our current situation.

So why don’t we all address our pain points right now? This is a big one guys – because SOMETHING IS HOLDING US BACK.

What’s holding your ideal client back?

This is where we get into the nitty gritty as this is usually the objections your client has before buying or pursuing the solution to their problems.

This is what coaches and entrepreneurs deal with when they’re marketing and selling their solutions to clients’ pain points – the objections that hold your client back from making the leap.

In an ideal world, if we hold the solution to the problem our ideal clients are dealing with, they should jump at the chance to get it right now.

Unfortunately the reality is that we often face numerous objections that stem from complex inner conflict that people go through when they’re on the brink of a change.

Change is stressful and it means stepping outside of your comfort zone, which often means that it’s easier to live in the known “comfort” of your pain points vs. making an uncomfortable leap that might or might not bring positive results.

Carrying on with the weight loss example, this is what the objections of this ideal client might be, before they take a plunge into yet another weight loss program, product or coaching:

  • I can’t do this, I’ve tried so many times and failed
  • I’m not made for this
  • It’s going to be too hard
  • I’m going to end up gaining weight again
  • I don’t want to give up the foods I love
  • I’m going to waste money on another product that doesn’t work
  • I’m tired of trying again and again without results
  • I’m afraid of failing and feeling bad about it
  • I’m afraid that if this doesn’t work, nothing else will
  • I don’t know if I can change my lifestyle permanently
  • I’m not sure I truly want to make the effort to change (yep – these thoughts happen too)
  • Maybe I’ll try next week/month/later OR when I have done <insert excuse>

See what I did there? I have compiled a list of the most common, likely and persistent excuses most people make before jumping into another weight loss program (speaking purely from experience, as I am one of those people 😉 ).

Making a list of what’s holding your client back is going to immensely help you understand WHAT IS HOLDING THEM BACK from making that decision, doing the damn thing, taking that leap, investing in YOU and YOUR SERVICES when you KNOW that you’re the one that can help them. 

If the chemistry is right, the product/service is right, the time is right and the fit is perfect, most often what’s holding your client back is what gets in the way of them deciding to take the leap. Understanding what holds them back makes it easier for you to address these reasons, excuses or fears of change (or all 3) and dive deeper into these issues.

When you understand what holds your ideal client back, you can question how valid these reasons are, speak to them and help your ideal client assess the actual risk or loss associated with making the decision to change, to seek help, to get out of the comfort zone.

Yes – risk or loss. You may be asking why I’m talking about risks and losses associated with a seemingly positive change?

Your ideal client may perceive that they have to make some sort of sacrifice in order to pursue change and they see that sacrifice as a cost. The important thing here is to help them see and decide whether it’s worth it and what they GET if the do decide to pay the cost / make the sacrifice. This could be the cost of the program/service, the sacrifice of their current lifestyle, the effort that needs to be put in, in order to make a change etc.

Which brings me onto the next and last point in this article – what are your ideal clients’ GOALS?

What does your ideal client want?

You need to be crystal damn clear on what your ideal client wants.

You need to know clear as day, what the biggest, baddest dream of your ideal client is, with respect to your niche, what you offer and what you help your people with. Your entire business will need to cater to solutions that will enable your clients to fulfill their ultimate dreams, desires, wants and needs. That’s what you ultimately need to make sure of – that your business is the solution to making dreams, desires and wants HAPPEN.

Continuing with the weight loss example, let’s take a look at how the goals of the ideal client in this example are the perfect counterargument to the Fears + Objections we talked about before.

  • I want to be healthy and minimize risk of obesity related diseases
  • I want to feel healthy and fit
  • I want to feel good about myself and my body
  • I want to love who I see in the mirror
  • I want to feel great in my clothes and be able to dress how I want without feeling self conscious
  • I want to feel confident and strong
  • I want to feel like I’m taking good care of myself and my body
  • I want to be in the best shape of my life because I deserve it and so does my body
  • I want more energy, better moods and better sleep
  • I want to feel confident and sexy during bikini season
  • I want to feel more confident and sexy in the bedroom
  • I want to feel attractive again

Can you see how these goals that the ideal client in this case study has, are the perfect way you can combat their fears and objections? Their perceived, positive reality IF they change their situation is THE best argument you can use to convince them that making this change is WORTH the cost / effort / sacrifice.

Understanding what your ideal client really fucking wants is your key to not only helping them overcome their fears and objections, it’s also your guideline to what your products and services should be about.

These are the goals YOUR BUSINESS will need to help your clients achieve. 

Why understanding these 4 things about your ideal client is so crucial?

Have you ever asked yourself:

  • What should my freebie be about?
  • What should my next digital product be?
  • How do I structure my next service / offering / group program ?
  • What do I write on my sales page?
  • What should I send to my email list?

When you know exactly what pains your client, what fears and objections they have  + what their biggest baddest dream is, you’ve hit a home run.

These truth bombs about your ideal client are your strategy, marketing and sales bible.

They are the step by step instruction to what your next freebie is, how to structure that offering and what to write on your sales page. This is what your ideal client is looking for & they NEED YOUR HELP.

I hope this was helpful and a totally different perspective on cracking the code of your ideal client vs. what you have heard or read before.

Leave a comment if you have any questions or want to share your experience with pinning down your ideal client avatar.

Do you know your ideal clients inside out? Let me know!  Know someone who could benefit from this post? Share share share! <3

Much love,

Eva xos